Holidays are stressful enough as is when you are a neurotypical person.

“What should I buy for my family?”

 

“What should I buy for my kids?” 

 

“When is everything going on sale?”

 

That is the LEAST of our problems when it comes to having neurospicy brains. 

 

Holidays usually mean one BIG thing to me – socialization. 

 

Yeah. THAT big thing. The ick. 

 

I can’t stand socializing that much even with my best of friends on my best of days. 

 

Let alone a bunch of people pretending to like each other (Cause let’s be serious, there’s drama in every family).

 

So what do us neurospicy people typically do when we have to go to these gatherings? 

 

You’ll usually find us in the corner of the room on our phones; outside if it’s nice out; and most definitely: leaving early if we can help it. 

 

But there’s the other side to the holidays: family/family traditions/etc. 

 

What I’ve learned over the years and as I’ve gotten more and more exhausted in this depression-ridden body, is that holiday traditions aren’t as fun or easy as they used to be…

 

When I was a teenager my mom helped us make 300 cookies. Yes that number was correct. 300. 

 

100 of each cookie: Sugar, Chocolate Chip and Peanut Butter Blossoms. 

 

And yes it was a loooooong task, but we got it done in 1 day and had a lot of laughs along the way. 

Could I make 300 cookies this year? 

 

ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.

 

For one, my mom isn’t able to help us like she did when I was younger. She suffers from severe COPD so she isn’t able to do a lot anymore. So it’s basically all on my sister and I.

 

And that’s the thing. Everything is on my sister and I now. When we both have not only mental illnesses, but also physical limitations. 

 

She has POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) as well as mental illness. 

 

I have a fast heart rate and for some reason still unknown by my doctors; I cannot bend or squat in the least without feeling VERY dizzy. Along with my desk job/depression making me sit/lay down all the time, I am very weak muscled. 

 

So not only do we have our mental health to push through, but we also have physical limitations that hinder us from doing certain things or at least completing them in the same time frame that we used to. 

 

We got our Christmas tree the weekend of Thanksgiving. (Early for us actually). 

It took us 3 DAYS to get the energy and determination to string the lights on it. 

 

Now it is….December 7th. And we have YET to add the ornaments and star (if we ever FIND the star, that is….)

 

The stockings are up. So that’s something, right? Lol. 

 

But that’s literally all we have done for Christmas and it’s already the 7th. 

 

And that is what mental/physical illness can do to you. Keep you from living your life like “normal people”.

You go to do a task, you feel too sick. Or you’re too tired. Or you’re too depressed to get out of bed to do ANYTHING – let alone anything festive. 

 

And trying to sync up with someone to do these things (if you have someone to help you) IMPOSSIBLE. Because you probably both have a good reason/excuse for not wanting to start said task. Lol. 

So I know you’re reading this and thinking “well, what do we do about these issues?”

 

And to tell you the truth? I don’t freaking know. I am 31 years old. And I still to this day cannot tell you why we do the things we do. 

 

What I CAN tell you is that really pushing yourself, and trying your best to think (not even positive, just neutral) thoughts may help you get the “energy” or “motivation” (I hate that word) to get started on a task. 

 

And I know it’s extremely hard for a lot of us with mental illness especially those of us who struggle financially, or with family/friends, illness, etc. 

 

I just wanted to say if you are struggling this year to pay for things, if you are struggling to deal with your family, or you are struggling with loss, etc, to PLEASE know that you are NOT ALONE. At all. 

 

I live in the tiiiiiiiiny state of Delaware and I know hundreds of people, just like you and I, who are struggling in some way not only this holiday season but in general. 

 

(If you feel as though you need immediate help, please text 988 to speak to a crisis agent, 24/7)

 

I know it’s hard. I know. I’m right there with you. But better days are coming. When? No one truly knows. But as long as we keep fighting, and pushing and staying consistent? We may get there sooner than we think. 

 

I love you. Happy Holidays.