So. You might think this one is self-explanatory, right? 

 

Just bring up what’s making you sad and talk it out to your therapist for a half hour – hour, and then leave. Rinse and repeat. 

 

That’s perfectly fine if all you want out of your sessions is “talk therapy”. Where you LITERALLY pay someone to listen to your complaints and emotions for a period of time.

 

But what I have personally experienced over yearsssss and many different therapists/therapy strategies, is that not all therapists are for everyone. 

 

You have talk therapists, CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapists) (we will touch on that more later), and some therapists who are a little bit of both.

 

When I was a young teen, I started off with my very first therapist. (It was either that or go to Anger Management, which I was NOT doing lol) 

 

She was nice and all, but didn’t seem to care a lot about her job/me. Never really moved beyond talking about my current issues, the timer going off, and I left for the day. 

 

Moving on to being an older teenager/young adult, I had a few more therapists that I tried. One again, didn’t seem to care about me/the job. She had a notepad, a pen, and a smug look on her face and would keep going “mm hmm” after every sentence I said. I didn’t have any feedback, nor did she engage with me and give me coping skills. 

 

My next therapist I LOVED. She even brought in a Rorschach test JUST FOR ME cause I mentioned that I thought they were cool. Unfortunately for me, she left the practice within 3 sessions. Boo. 

 

So I stopped with therapy for a while. I didn’t think it really helped me/people like me. (Long story short, I was sent to a CBT therapist against my will from my job because I had told one of my friends/co-workers something that worried them, and they told my boss hoping they could help me. Anyway, 3 sessions of mandated therapy, and I was done with him).

 

So CBT therapy. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Let’s break that down. 

 

⭐Cognitive – brain

⭐Behavioral – how the brain behaves/acts

⭐Therapy – working on solutions of how to change how our brains act/react

 

I wanted to start that up again after my sister who sees a therapist weekly, suggested I go back. My life was getting hard again, my anxiety and depression were taking over, I was in a dark place. I needed help. So I looked for another therapist. 

 

In enters my current therapist. She is almost old enough to be my mother. So I wasn’t too sure of her at first. But decided to at least give her a chance. And let me tell you, I LOVE THIS WOMAN. She is so understanding, supportive, encouraging, intelligent, HILARIOUS, whatever it is I was looking for in a therapist, she was it. 

 

Now – here comes the “FUN” part. Therapy topics. Specifically for beginners. 

 

I’m going to name off some topics for some beginner therapy-seekers, or those who have not gone for a long time and may have forgotten how to do therapy. (Now therapy will go based on YOU, your THERAPIST, your TOPIC, your SITUATION, etc. So not everyone’s situation is going to be the same).

 

• Current worries 
• Money/Bills
• Job/Employment
• Marriage/Partnerships
• Children struggles
• School struggles
• Parental struggles
• Self-harm/suicidal thoughts ‼️(if you feel as though you need immediate help, please text 988 to speak to a crisis agent, 24/7) ‼️
• PTSD/Past traumas
• Abuse (any kind)
• CBT (aka rewiring your brain to think differently)
• Anxiety/Depression/ADHD/PTSD/etc, working on rewiring your thoughts, habits, behaviors through common practices and “homework” and following up with your therapist about what seems to work and what doesn’t work
• Talk therapy
• Grief therapy 

All these kinds of therapies are GOOD. It’s always better to talk to someone who cares, and possibly work on correcting said problems, then doing nothing at all, or potentially hurting yourself with self-medicating, self-harm, etc. 

 

Now I know what you’re thinking. “My therapist sucks”. “What if I can’t find the right therapist?” “Therapy doesn’t work on me”

 

I’ve heard all those phrases. I’ve SAID all those phrases. But just know, it may take TIME. 

 

You’re not (you might, you might be that magical unicorn that finds a great therapist first round) going to find the perfect therapist for you on your first try. AND THAT’S OK!!!

 

It might take some research, asking around, joining groups on social media to see what others do/where they go. 

 

But when you find that therapist, STICK WITH THEM. Don’t stop because you “think” it isn’t working. As long as you have the financial means to keep going, then keep going. Nothing will change if nothing changes.

 

And one last bit of advice from me. TRY. Really TRY. TRY to find a therapist you like. TRY to show up every week/other week/month. TRY to be vulnerable during your sessions and really open up and let yourself release. And lastly, TRY to do the “homework” that your therapist tells you to do. 

 

If you just go to your sessions and they give you a task or two to work on until the next session and you don’t do it, what’s the point? (I’ve learned this the hard way) 

 

You really want to take advantage of your sessions and use what you’ve learned from them in your life when you’ve left that session. So you can build on what you already know, what you already know you need to work on, etc. 

 

So, I hope this tidbit of info helps someone, anyone, in finding a therapist and getting the most out of therapy. Because it really can be a positive thing, if you’re willing to go through some trial and error. 

 

Comment and let me know some of your history with therapy. I’m very interested to know!

 

See you next week, 

 

xo, Kayla ⭐❤️